Resilience In Recession Tip #3 - Discover Your "Emotion Radar"

In Adaptiv Resilience in Recession E-tip #2, we suggested that it’s what we think that determines what we feel and do in response to a challenging situation. We showed you a list of the most common “negative” emotions and the kind of thinking that causes them. Then, we asked you to tune into your thinking and your emotions to see if you could name your Pet Emotion - the one emotion that you feel more than any of the others – the one emotion that derails you, especially in tough times. Were you able to identify it? If you were, that’s great! It’s your first step toward greater resilience.

Here’s what we heard from two E-tips subscribers about their experiences with this exercise:

Dear Adaptiv,

Yesterday, my boss called and asked me to prepare a financial report for her weekly staff meeting, which was starting in less than an hour. Before I could respond, she said she had to pick up another call and ended her call with me. I was right in the middle of another project. I started to feel angry. I was thinking how she didn’t respect me and how unfair it was that I was being pulled off a task to help her. Just then, she walked up to my desk and apologized for jumping off the phone – her boss had been on the line and she needed to take the call. She told me how much she trusted my financial knowledge and how much she appreciated my efforts. She thanked me for going the extra mile. I felt my anger disappear. She asked me to help her because she respected me, but I jumped to the opposite conclusion. I realized that this was a familiar pattern – I often think that other people are stepping on my toes or not showing me respect, and it makes me angry. In this case, I was totally wrong.

(From David P.)

Dear Adaptiv,

Your example [in E-tips #2] about project due dates moving up actually happened to me last week. I was already totally stressed because we have had two big layoffs already this year, and about a quarter of my team is already gone. So it was easy for me to spot my pet emotion – Anxiety! The first thing I thought about was how this work schedule would affect everything from my exercise program to my kids’ weekend plans. I worried about whether my husband would be able to pick up the slack. I always seem to be worried about what’s going to happen next.

(From Rhonda C.)

Thanks to David and Rhonda for sharing their stories. They each did a great job of identifying their Pet Emotions (his is Anger and hers is Anxiety) and the kinds of thinking that lead to those emotions. From an early age, each of us develops habits of thinking about ourselves, our worlds, and our futures. At Adaptiv, we call these Thinking Styles, and we humans have a number of them. We refer to the particular Thinking Style that leads us to our Pet Emotion as our Emotion Radar. This is because each of us learns to scan our worlds in a very specific way that winds up leading us to a specific emotion. For instance, people who feel Anger more than other emotions are scanning the world for how their rights are being violated. In David’s case, his “Violation of Rights” radar led him to falsely believe that his boss was disrespecting him, and in that moment he felt angry. People like Rhonda who experience more Anxiety than anything else tend to scan the world for future threat, i.e., what’s coming down the track to get them next. Her “Future Threat” radar caused her to start thinking thoughts about all the bad things that this one work situation might lead to, and she felt Anxious. While there’s no doubt that working weekends will cause some personal hardships, the chances are that her Emotion Radar caused her to overblow the probabilities of bad things happening, and to worry more than she needed to.

Feeling negative emotions based on faulty thinking causes us to feel badly for no good reason. And in the process, we burn up valuable resilience resources. This has a negative impact on how we feel and how we do during recession or any other difficult time.

To help you zero in on your Emotion Radar, here is a list of non-resilient emotions, and the Emotion Radar that leads to each:

Emotion    Emotion Radar

Sadness    Loss – Of self worth or real world

Anxiety     Future threat

Frustration     Lack of resources

Anger    Violation of your rights

Guilt Violation of another’s rights

Embarrassment     Loss of standing with others

Shame       Violation of your own standards

Once you have a feel for the one – or maybe two – emotions that most get in your way, the trick is to stop and ask yourself if your thinking in the moment is in accord with what’s really going on. If it’s not, then chances are that your Emotion Radar is causing you to jump to a wrong conclusion. With a little practice, you’ll begin to “sniff out” your radar and quickly become skeptical of your thinking in that moment. Often, just stopping to question the accuracy of your thoughts will help you rein in your emotions and stay more task focused. And this will make you more resilient!

Please feel free to get in touch and let us know how getting a handle on your Emotion Radar is helping you feel better and do better during this recession – at work, at home, or anywhere in between.

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